Birth date: May 20th, 2011. It's a girl, and she's gorgeous!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Mission Log: Day 19
The one they call mommy has been injecting me with a viscous fluid called "milk" which at first seems pleasant enough, tasty even, but which produces a terrifying effect known as "poopies". After the foul liquid has firmly ensconced itself within my innards, the havoc wreaking begins. It sneaks up on me, every time. A look of surprise crosses my visage as my innards rumble, and fight it as I may, there is no escape once it begins. And fight it I do. I strain and twist and thrash, agony written on my face. My shrill screams, so effective at preventing or demanding so many other things, have no impact on the evil mechanations of the wretched "poopies" working their way through me. Fists clenched, I struggle valiantly -- but alas, I am powerless against the onslaught. Calling out with all my might, I curse the Goddess Mommy for that which she has brought upon me as the poopies deliver their coup de grace. And then, another battle weathered, I heave a sigh of relief and promptly fall asleep -- for I know I must gather strength for the inevitable next confrontation.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Mission Log: Day 12
For nearly two weeks now I have attempted to consume all of the fingers from the one they call "daddy". Despite my valiant efforts, the cursed digits remain. Perhaps I will have more success with his nose, which I recently located and attempt to eat at every opportunity. Furthermore, I now find myself greatly outnumbered, for in addition to "mommy", "daddy", and "grandma", another has arrived -- one called "grandpa". And I hear that soon there will be two "grandmas" here, which I can only imagine will lead to doubling of the rations of the unspeakable tortures they call "changing" and "bathtime". Worst of all, I expect more of this "singing", some sort of biosonic weaponry that leaves me wide-eyed and stunned. The fiends!
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